We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
