if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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