his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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