rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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