And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
