I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
