wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
