what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize