Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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