At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Mom said you looked used
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
At least life still wants to fuck me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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