Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
