It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
