it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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