If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
