16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
love makes seman taste better
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
