You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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