How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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