You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
