You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize