Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
