so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Vodka?
Forever.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
