Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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