His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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