some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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