I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
