I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
