Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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