I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize