Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
