I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
