Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
