ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
