I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
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I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
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I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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