I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
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You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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