Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
