don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Sorry about my life...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
