Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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