i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize