Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
