i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I need to calm my uterus...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
