I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I want to fling myself into the sun
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
