Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
