I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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