So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
