Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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