how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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