i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
