lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
