so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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