We're like a lot better than the average bears
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
