Its about making memories worth repressing
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
