I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
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THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
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In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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